Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Making Tomorrow A Better Day

Today has so far consisted of no running, no exercise, a chocolate binge, a very long work day, no energy to do anything productive, a two hour sleep and a lot of negative stuff in my head. I've also been extremely broke all week, and I think the fact that I've had no money has been getting me down.

I don't have the energy to go for a run in the dark. I don't have any money to go to the gym. I don't have any petrol to drive me anywhere. So I can either go to bed in a bad mood and watch Netflix, or I can try and prepare for tomorrow so it doesn't suck like today.

As appealing as doing nothing sounds, I should really force myself to get something done. It just feels like such a struggle.

I've just been put back on anti depressants after being off them for quite a while. Don't worry, I haven't been thinking of ending this blog along with everything else. But I have been told by my doctor that my depression and anxiety could be a big part of my energy levels disappearing and having no motivation for anything at the minute.

Everything just seems like so much of a struggle at the minute. Even the good things.

But I don't want to be swallowed up by all the negativity that my head seems to produce. Sometimes you just have to accept that this will be a non running day and that my head nor body wants to do much. I have to respect that, but at the same time be a little bit sneaky and get something done so that tomorrow will be more positive.

Ten minutes ago I didn't want to even think about writing my blog. I'm now getting through it, albeit by complaining to you, so my apologies for that.

No wait. I'm not complaining. I take that apology back. This is more of a waffle about stupid stuff in my head. I'll apologise for that instead.

I've also decided (just there, right now) that instead of making a list of what I want to get done, that I should probably write about it and then do it. And then post a picture or some sort of evidence that progress is being made. Or take pictures as I am doing it and then make a list. Starting off with one of my ThanksGiving inspired dinner...

Turkey stew with sweet potatoes and mozzarella cheese. . Possibly a new invention. 

Anyway, it's starting to look like this has become an open invitation into my home, my Wednesday night and my strange little (sometimes sad/ sometimes happy) head. Yes, it is self indulgence at it's finest, but maybe by the end of this post we will have both taken something positive away.

 I Am Completely Broke


I have spent the past week wondering why I leave the house everyday to go to work, only to find myself having to borrow petrol money (to get to work) and spending the past four nights with all the lights turned off because I only had a few pennies left on the electric meter.



I should probably say at this point that while I have been going without a tasty meal for a few nights, my dog Sheldon gets his food bought every time I get paid, so he never goes hungry. Just in case you were wondering. In fact, this payday he also got a coat and a hairdryer bought for when he walks in the rain. He's not that fussed on the coat, but he loves the hairdryer.

I couldn't afford to run a 10K trail race on Saturday because I didn't have the entry fee. That's pretty bad when you consider that I've stopped smoking and cut my alcohol intake by at least half this past two weeks. I should have some spare money lying around somewhere..

I work, but I don't seem to see any rewards.

This one is going to rapidly change in the next few hours as I get paid, but it's an ongoing problem that I need to deal with. I am in debt, I have got money issues, I don't have a lot of cash at the end of the fortnight. This has to change.

However, tomorrow will just be the start. I'm not here to make crazy lists to get everything all sorted once and for all, but rather rectify what has so far been a not great day.

So tomorrow I will:

Do a proper grocery shop. With cheap, staple foods. No luxuries.  
Fill the car with petrol.
Buy Mr Sheldon his dog food.
Buy Electric.
Enter a 10K race.

And with everything I buy or spend money on tomorrow I will first ask myself these three questions.

1) - Do I Really Need It?
2) - Do I Need It Right Now This Instant?
3) - Is This The Cheapest I Can Buy This Right Now?

If I can say yes to all these questions, I buy it. If I say no to any of them, it can either wait until another time or not at all.

There, done. Finances are now sorted for tomorrow. It's looking brighter already. Yay, on we go..

Running & Fitness - I Am Getting Fat And Lazy And Unfit


I'm not going to go over this all again, as you will have read this many, many, many times before on this blog.

The bottom line is today I got fatter. And lazier. And more unfit.

So tomorrow I want to change that and start moving in the right direction. It doesn't need to be by much. Just enough for me to say, "Yes, I did something that will help my running".

And to be honest, I do say stupid stuff like that to myself all the time.

I'll set myself a goal of running 4 miles at any pace I want. I can speed up or slow down, but I need to get out of the house and start getting some miles done. If it's raining or cold, it doesn't matter. I need to do this as soon as I get home from work, instead of sleeping for two hours.

And the biggest help I can do is to get all my running stuff ready for when I get home. No excuses. It's gonna be looking at me when I open the door.



And I guess that's all I have time to do tonight. Yes, it hasn't been a great 24 hours, but maybe it will be a good 48 hours. It's a (half) marathon, not a sprint, right?

Thank you for letting me talk rubbish this evening... I wasn't even in the mood for opening my laptop tonight, never mind writing anything. But I feel all the better for it, so thank you for reading it. I promise we'll be back to positive training and diet and everything else for the next post :)

James

Do you ever have days when you can't do anything, or do you still just get out and do it?



4 comments:

  1. You can do it James! Laying out my running clothes for the next usually works well for me too, so I think you are setting yourself up well. I definitely have days where I can't do anything and any goals feel impossible. (I think Netflix is also a godsend and the devil on those days.) If I break any tasks I have to do into the tiniest bits and try to accomplish them one at a time it seems to help since they feel a bit more attainable that way. Good luck on your run tomorrow, you've got this!

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    1. I think you're right, just trying to accomplish them one at a time can be so much more achievable. Thanks for the support Sam, I've started this morning with a positive mind so I will get this run done today!!! :)

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  2. Within the time it took you to write this blog, you turned your whole attitude around. That is awesome! You are so aware of what you're feeling, why and what you need to do about it which is a massive step in the right direction. You're doing amazingly well and should be so proud of yourself!!

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    1. Thanks Sara, as long as I turn it to a positive attitude lol... I'd hate to start writing a blog post on a happy note and then finish writing it in tears lol

      Yeah, it's all about trying to find something positive, even when we make mistakes. Which I tend to do a lot of...

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